A they/them gay is a specifically tailored identity that refers to a gay man who uses they/them pronouns. The term can be used by any men who are mlm (achillean) and use they/them pronouns. Those pronouns can be exclusive or one can be multipronoun or pronoun non-conforming.
There also exists he/him lesbians , they/them lesbians, and she/her gays.
They/Them Gays vs Nonbinary People
A they/them gay does not identify as female, they may acknowledge they are male, but pronouns do not always equal gender identity, as a they/them gay is simply a more specific form of pronoun non-conforming gay men.
It is a common misunderstanding that they/them gays "make the transgender and non-binary community look bad", but that is simply the fault of the people who refuse to think about the subject or break down the concept to understand it. Oftentimes, pronouns are gendered but in some cases they're not despite what society says. The pronouns one uses are another part of gender expression, just like one's clothes or behavior. In the same way some non-binary people are more comfortable using pronouns other than they/them, some binary people feel more comfortable using pronouns other than the one's typically associated with their gender.
Flag
The they/them gay flag was designed an unknown Tumblr user on June 11th, 2018 following Wuvsbian's he/him lesbian and she/her gay flag.