A they/them gay is a specifically tailored identity that refers to a gay man or nonbinary person who uses they/them pronouns. The term can be used by any men who are mlm (achillean) and use they/them pronouns. Those pronouns can be exclusive or one can be multipronoun or pronoun non-conforming.
Neopronoun gays, neopronoun lesbians, he/him lesbians, she/her gays, they/them lesbians, it/its lesbians, and it/its gay identities also exist through the same principle. They/them gays are also sometimes referred to as they/them vincians, they/them patroclians, they/them cintheans, they/them wildeans, or they/them achilleans.
Comparisons with Non-Binary identities
A they/them gay doesn't necessarily identify as non-binary - they may acknowledge they are male, but because pronouns do not always equal gender identity, as a they/them gay is simply a more specific form of pronoun non-conforming gay men.
It is a common misconception that they/them gays "make the transgender and non-binary community look bad", which is often due to many people forgetting to recognise the sheer diversity represented in the LGBTA+ community. This includes, as described above, pronouns not being equal to gender and conformity to a specific gender not being regarded as a strict necessity for such an identity. In the same way some non-binary individuals are more comfortable using pronouns other than they/them, some binary individuals can feel more comfortable using pronouns other than the ones typically associated with their gender.
Flag
The they/them gay flag was designed an unknown Tumblr user on June 11th, 2018 following Wuvsbian's he/him lesbian and she/her gay flag.