Adexsexual is an ace-spec greysexual microlabel in which one has asexual-like experience when around others and can feel allosexual-like when alone. Adexsexuals find some individuals sexually attractive and arousing in the fantasy/idea of having sex with them oneself. It fades when actually focusing on them in real life, next to them. Focusing on the idea again or going away restores it.
One is allo-ish when alone, and can fantasize/watch/read about sex in first-person and enjoy/want it. The more physically present/tangible the external partner becomes, the more ace-like one gets. Sexual attraction is naturally suppressed by the presence of individuals in real life, even those one fantasizes about. It is not suppressed by the presence of self, unlike in aegosexuality.
Actual sex can be very difficult and feel like a job, and even if it is somewhat enjoyable, it doesn't compare to the expectation. One can desire sex with someone if they have an idea of it at a distance, but in front of that individual, that desire is gone. It doesn't depend on reciprocity of others, only on the presence of others. One is capable of gaining some sexual attraction even during sex if dissociating strongly (eg. blindfolded and deafened) or experiencing kinks and trying to ignore the individual next to oneself.
Random short sexual attraction, sexual desire or libido spikes next to another individual are possible but extremely fleeting. Indirect sexual acts like masturbation also get much harder in the presence of anyone.
Adexsexuality is not a result of trauma (primarily), but of such inborn brain wiring, that the presence of others activates the neural circuits that suppress the neural circuits of sexual attraction. The loss of attraction does not feel disruptive/traumatic (primarily), but instead smooth and quick.
The romantic/aesthetic/sensual/platonic equvalents are adexromantic/adexaesthetic/adexsensual/adexplatonic.
History
The term was coined by Reddit user throwaceornotaceblob on November 9th, 2021.[1]
Flag
The adexsexual flag was designed by Reddit user throwaceornotaceblob on November 9, 2021. The internal crimson rhombus represents internal sexuality that dissipates the more external it gets. The outer purple boundaries represent the external asexuality. The dark rose remaining color represents phantom sexuality or sexual disconnect.
Etymology
The prefix combines ad, meaning almost, and ex, meaning externally. With the suffix, it means "approaching external sexuality."