Queerplatonic Relationship: Difference between revisions

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[[File:Queerplatonicflag1.jpg|thumb|220x220px|A commonly used queerplatonic flag.|link=https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/File:Queerplatonicflag1.jpg|alt=A flag with seven stripes. The colors are pink, dark grey, light grey, white, then light grey, dark grey, and pink again. In the middle is a yellow heart.]]'''Queerplatonic relationship''', also called a '''quasiplatonic relationship''', '''quirkyplatonic relationship''', or '''qplatonic relationship''' (abbreviated '''QPR'''), is a term for a relationship that bends the rules for telling apart romantic relationships from non-romantic relationships. It typically goes beyond what is considered normal or socially acceptable for a platonic relationship but is not romantic in nature or does not fully fit the traditional idea of a romantic relationship.[[File:Queerplatonic alt.png|thumb|220x220px|Another common queerplatonic flag.|alt=An alternate flag with five stripes. The colors on the flag are yellow, pink, white, light grey, and dark grey.]]In modern western societies, hard lines are drawn between appropriate behavior for a romantic relationship compared to a friendship. For example, cultural norms say that romantic partners are more physically affectionate and more emotionally close than friends are, as well as being more likely to partner in major life activities such as buying a house or raising a child together. When those lines are blurred, that relationship can be called queerplatonic. QPRs are often characterized by having a level of emotional closeness and dedication comparable to that found in a romantic relationship, which results in many people viewing their queerplatonic attraction/relationships as entirely/mostly separate from being platonic.

For some a QPR could look like a close friendship, for others it may outwardly appear to more closely resemble a romantic relationship. Queerplatonic relationships may involve some forms of physical affection which are normally considered exclusive to romantic or sexual relationships, such as hand-holding, cuddling, kissing, or having sex. Some queerplatonic couples will live together or get (platonically) married. Queerplatonic relationships can look different for everyone, depending on what the people involved are comfortable with.

Queerplatonic relationships are common among [[A-Spec|a-spec]] people, however one does not have to identify as a-spec to be in a queerplatonic relationship. One also does not have to be [[queer]] to be in a queerplatonic relationship. Pursuing a queerplatonic relationship is not necessarily mutually exclusive with pursuing romantic relationships. A queerplatonic relationship can be [[monogamous]] or [[polyamorous]]- involving more than two people.

People in queerplatonic relationships might refer to each other as their queerplatonic partner (QPP), marshmallow/mallowfriend, or as "zucchini", a term that was originally a joke in the a-spec community about lacking a word to properly describe the term, so they could just use any word they want, like zucchini.<ref>https://writingfromfactorx.wordpress.com/2011/07/11/my-thoughts-on-the-word-zucchini/</ref> A queerplatonic crush is most commonly called a [[squish]] (the same as a platonic crush), and is less commonly called a plush, squash, or crish.

[[Queerplatonic Attraction|Queerplatonic attraction]] is a form of [[Tertiary Attraction|tertiary attraction]] experienced mainly, but not exclusively, by a-spec people. It is defined as the desire to be in a queerplatonic relationship with someone in particular. Queerplatonic attraction can be very similar to [[Platonic Attraction|platonic attraction]] and [[Alterous Attraction|alterous attraction]]. For some people these types of attraction greatly overlap. Not all people make a distinction between them. For others they may feel like there is a clear distinction between these feelings. Among those who do feel a distinction, queerplatonic attraction is often described as being stronger and more intimate than purely platonic attraction. Alterous attraction is the desire for intimacy that is neither platonic nor romantic, queerplatonic can be considered an extension of platonic attraction.

Someone who does not experience queerplatonic attraction and/or does not desire queerplatonic relationships may call themself aqueerplatonic. Queerplatonic attraction is not a requirement for a having or wanting a QPR. Some aqueerplatonic people may still want or have queerplatonic relationship, they just do not get squishes. Others who are aqueerplatonic might not desire a queerplatonic relationship. They may also identify as [[nonamorous]].