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    Femme: Difference between revisions

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    [[File:Inclusive Femme flag.png|thumb|The femme flag for any LGBT person.]]
    [[File:Femme flag 2.png|thumb|220x220px|The femme flag.]]
    [[File:Femme flag 2.png|thumb|The femme flag.]]
    [[File:Inclusive Femme flag.png|thumb|220x220px|The femme flag for any LGBT individual.]]
    [[File:Sea femme.png|thumb|220x220px|The "sea femme" flag]]
    [[File:Femme lesbian flag by strwbryfemme.png|alt=femme lesbian flag by twitter user strwbryfemme. it has seven stripes of varying shades of pink, with the white stripe in the middle.|thumb|The femme lesbian flag by twitter user strwbryfemme]]
    [[File:Femme lesbian.jpg|thumb|An alternate femme lesbian flag.|alt=]]
    [[File:Femme by disastergay.png|thumb|220x220px|Femme flag by disasterbisexual on tumblr]]
    [[File:Femme lesbian flag.png|thumb|Another alternate femme lesbian flag by Wemrotung.|alt=]]
    [[File:Femme lesbian flag.png|thumb|220x220px|Another alternate femme lesbian flag (March 28, 2021)|alt=]]
    [[File:Femme lesbian flag by strwbryfemme.png|alt=femme lesbian flag by exclusionist twitter user strwbryfemme. it has seven stripes of varying shades of pink, with the white stripe in the middle.|thumb|220x220px|The femme lesbian flag by exclusionist twitter user strwbryfemme]]
    [[File:Alt femme flag.jpg|thumb|Another alternate femme flag by Reddit user u/ShippyGoodness]]
    [[File:Lipstick lesbian.png|thumb|The lipstick lesbian flag.|alt=]]
    [[File:Femme lesbian.jpg|thumb|220x220px|An alternate femme lesbian flag.|alt=]]
    [[File:Alt femme flag.jpg|thumb|220x220px|Another alternate femme flag by Reddit user u/ShippyGoodness]]
    [[File:Black Femme flag.jpg|thumb|222x222px|The Black Femme Community flag by the-gender-thieves on Tumblr]]
    [[File:Lipstick lesbian.png|thumb|220x220px|The lipstick lesbian flag.|alt=]]
    [[File:Femme symbol.png|thumb|180x180px|The femme symbol.]]
    [[File:Femme symbol.png|thumb|180x180px|The femme symbol.]]
    [[File:Femme Man.png|thumb|180x180px|The femme man symbol.]]
    [[File:Femme Man.png|thumb|180x180px|The femme man symbol.]]
    [[File:Femme symbol 2.png|thumb|210x210px|Alternative femme symbol by the-gender-thieves on Tumblr]]
    '''Femme''' is a term used in [[LGBT+]] subculture to describe someone, typically a [[lesbian]] or otherwise [[sapphic]] woman, who has a [[feminine]] gender [[Gender Presentation|presentation]]. The term can refer to any femininity, but often refers to overblown and/or outwardly atypical femininity.


    Femmes will often dress in feminine clothing, and typically present themselves in a more stereotypically feminine way, such as having long hair and wearing makeup. Femmes are also commonly thought of as having more "feminine" interests. However, femmes often subvert cultural expectations of femininity or show femininity in a uniquely lesbian way, as opposed to [[cishet]] women. Some [[transmasculine]] femmes may not take certain steps associated with transmasculine transition, such as going on [[Hormone Replacement Therapy|testosterone]]. Femmes can be [[cisgender]], [[transgender]], or any other [[Gender Modality|gender modality]]. Femme can also be used by [[Non-Binary|non-binary]] individuals.
    '''Femme''' is a term used in [[LGBT+]] subculture to describe someone, typically a lesbian or otherwise [[sapphic]] woman, who has a [[feminine]] gender [[Gender Presentation|presentation]]. The term can refer to any LGBT+ femininity, but often refers to overblown and/or outwardly atypical femininity.


    Traditionally, femmes have been expected to be attracted to [[Butch|butches]]. For some femmes, this attraction to butches represents a strong part of their own identity. However, some femmes are attracted to other femmes. This is sometimes referred to as "fem-for-fem" or "femme-for-femme."
    Femmes will often dress in feminine clothing, and typically present themselves in a more stereotypically feminine way, such as having long hair and wearing makeup. Femmes are also commonly thought of as having more "feminine" interests. However, femmes often subvert cultural expectations of femininity or show femininity in a uniquely [[LGBT+]] way, as opposed to cishets. Some [[Transmasculine|transmasculine]] femmes may not take certain steps associated with transmasculine transition, such as going on [[Hormone Replacement Therapy|testosterone]]. Femmes can be [[cisgender]], [[transgender]], or any other [[Gender Modality|gender modality]]. Femme can also be used by [[Non-Binary|non-binary]] people.


    Femme men often use the spelling "fem," which is simply the older version of "femme" and was also used by LGBT+ women before "femme" became common. When said out loud, the terms sound identical. Femme men are associated with highly exaggerated feminine style and manner, which is often a reclamation of the derogatory association of SGA men with femininity. Some femme men enjoy drag, and other have a more subdued but clearly feminine style. The infamous "gay accent" is associated with, but not always used by, these men.
    While the femme label is often used by/associated with lesbians, it is also used by other groups in the LGBT+ community. This includes [[Multisexual|m-spec]] sapphics and LGBT+ [[Male|men]]. Femme men often use the spelling "fem," which is simply the older version of "femme". "Fem" was also used by LGBT+ women before "femme" became common. Femme men are associated with highly exaggerated feminine style and manner, which is often a reclamation of the derogatory association of LGBT men with femininity.


    ==Other Terms ==
    Traditionally, femmes have been expected to be attracted to [[Butch|butches]]. For some femmes, this attraction to butches represents a strong part of their own identity. However, some femmes are attracted to other femmes. This is sometimes referred to as "fem-for-fem" or "femme-for-femme."

    While the femme label is often used by/associated with lesbians, it is also used by other groups in the LGBT+ community. This includes [[Multisexual|m-spec]] [[Sapphic|sapphics]] and [[LGBT+]] men.

    ==Other Terms==
    Some other terms that are typically synonymous with femme include "lipstick lesbian" and "designer dyke."
    Some other terms that are typically synonymous with femme include "lipstick lesbian" and "designer dyke."


    Line 27: Line 28:
    High femme is also sometimes defined as a femme who likes receive sexual contact but doesn't want to reciprocate, the opposite of stone. Sometimes this can carry a negative connotation, but they often form a sexual dynamic with a stone butch. (They may also identify as [[asexual]] and/or [[iamvanosexual]].)
    High femme is also sometimes defined as a femme who likes receive sexual contact but doesn't want to reciprocate, the opposite of stone. Sometimes this can carry a negative connotation, but they often form a sexual dynamic with a stone butch. (They may also identify as [[asexual]] and/or [[iamvanosexual]].)


    ===Stone Femme ===
    ===Stone Femme===
    Stone femme may refer to a femme who is stone, meaning they do not like their genitals sexually touched by their partners. (They may also identify as [[asexual]] and/or [[placiosexual]].) It may also refer to the femme partner of a stone butch.
    Stone femme may refer to a femme who is stone, meaning they do not like their genitals sexually touched by their partners. (They may also identify as [[asexual]] and/or [[placiosexual]].) It may also refer to the femme partner of a stone butch.


    === Blue Jeans Femme===
    ===Blue Jeans Femme===
    Someone who is femme but prefers more casual clothes.
    Someone who is femme but prefers more casual clothes.


    ==Flag and Symbols==
    ==Flag and Symbols==
    The femme flag was designed by Tumblr user noodle on or before Feb 9th, 2018.<ref>[https://wuvsbian.tumblr.com/post/170699656877/an-idea-for-a-femme-flag-i-saw-some-discussions Femme flag by Tumblr user noodle.]</ref> Purple was chosen based on one of the colors from the orange/pink lesbian flag.
    The femme flag was designed by Tumblr user noodle on or before Feb 9th, 2018.<ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://wuvsbian.tumblr.com/post/170699656877/an-idea-for-a-femme-flag-i-saw-some-discussions Femme flag by Tumblr user noodle.}}]</ref> Purple was chosen based on one of the colors from the orange/pink lesbian flag.

    The purple/pink femme lesbian flag was designed by an unknown individual on or before September 30, 2019.

    An alternate femme lesbian flag was designed by Reddit user u/ShippyGoodness on August 9, 2020.<ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://www.reddit.com/r/QueerVexillology/comments/i6uxor/i_got_bored_and_did_it_again_a_femme_flag_design/ Reddit post "I got bored and did it again" by u/ShippyGoodness.}}]</ref>

    Another alternate femme lesbian flag was designed by an anonymous wiki user on March 28, 2021.


    Another femme flag was made by tumblr user disastergay (formerly disasterbisexual) on October 3, 2019.<ref>{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://disasterbisexual.tumblr.com/post/188111232450}}</ref>
    The purple/pink femme lesbian flag was designed by an unknown person on or before September 30, 2019.


    The inclusive femme flag was designed by Tumblr user nbgender on January 14, 2021.<ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://nbgender.tumblr.com/post/640344191559401472/new-butch-and-femme-flags-versions-with Tumblr post "New butch and femme flags" by nbgender.}}]</ref> The dark blue stripe represents the variety of femme experience between individuals. the blue stripe represents the connection/community with femmes, femme 4 femme. The small light-blue stripe represents gender nonconformity, and the LGBTQ+ relationship to femininity. The large yellowish-white stripe represents rich history of femme identity & butch/femme culture, and the working class history & solidarity. The small lilac stripe represents sexuality and romance, including stone & high femmes. The purple stripe represents the connection/community with butches, femme 4 butch. The dark purple stripe represents the inclusion and love of femmes of other marginalized identities.<ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://nbgender.tumblr.com/post/657731876565450752/these-are-my-finalized-butch-femme-stripe Stripe meanings for the inclusive femme flag.}}]</ref>
    An alternate femme lesbian flag was designed by Reddit user u/ShippyGoodness on August 9, 2020.<ref>[https://www.reddit.com/r/QueerVexillology/comments/i6uxor/i_got_bored_and_did_it_again_a_femme_flag_design/ Reddit post "I got bored and did it again" by u/ShippyGoodness.]</ref>


    Another all-inclusive "sea femme" lesbian flag was created by tumblr user kenochoric on December 22, 2020.<ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://kenochoric.tumblr.com/post/638266393332219904/sky-butch-sea-femme-all-inclusive-butch-and Tumblr post with the sea femme flag.}}]</ref> Purple represents LGBTQ+ history. The History of the wider community and their contributions, impact, and legacy. Blue represents femme history and culture, personal history of femmes, along with femme culture. Mint/green represents support for butches, other femmes, and the wider community. Yellow represents inclusivity and tolerance. Being femme is not something you need to prove to others, and is not something you need to reach some milestone to be. Orange-brown/tan represents autonomy and independence. Being femme is not just about being with butches. Being femme is it’s own subculture that can stand on it’s own, and is just as valuable as any other. Brown represents the inclusion of all femmes, including disabled femmes, femmes of color, fat femmes, [[Gender Non-Conforming|GNC]] femmes, and every other femme. The femme community and the wider community is no place for bigotry towards marginalized members. ALL femmes are good femmes.
    Another alternate femme lesbian flag was designed by wiki user Wemrotung on March 28, 2021.


    [[Exclusionist]] twitter user strwbryfemme created another femme lesbian flag on April 2, 2021. The color chosen for the flag was hot pink and the design was made to match the well-known orange butch lesbian flag. <ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://twitter.com/strwbryfemme/status/1377939059578900482 Tweet "I made a pink femme flag" by strwbryfemme.}}]</ref> @strwbryfemme's flags should be used with caution as fawn has a history of exclusionism against m-spec lesbians. <ref>[https://web.archive.org/web/20210804163825/https://strwbryfemme.carrd.co/ An exclusionist flag maker - stwbryfemme's carrd]</ref><ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Bi-Lesbian?diff=prev&oldid=68913 strwbryfemme vandalizing the bi-lesbian page}}]</ref>
    The inclusive femme flag was designed by Tumblr user nbgender on January 14, 2021.<ref>[https://nbgender.tumblr.com/post/640344191559401472/new-butch-and-femme-flags-versions-with Tumblr post "New butch and femme flags" by nbgender.]</ref>


    The Black Femme Community flag was made by the-gender-thieves on Tumblr on April 12th, 2022.<ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://thegenderthieves.tumblr.com/post/682521753670631424/blackfemme}}]</ref>. The colors were inspired by the [[dyke]] flag and most common femme flag. The color meanings are as follows: Black - black history and black sapphic history, Purple - lesbian and sapphic history, love of women and non-men, sapphic power, Lavender - femininity, Light pink - femmeness, gender expression and/or gender non-conformity, unity, Pink - inclusivity of all sapphics, including trans, non-binary, mspec, aroacespec, and other sapphics, Magenta - breaking sapphic stereotpes. The symbol on the flag is the coiner's femme symbol, its represents femininity, strength, rebellion, and liberation
    Twitter user strwbryfemme created another femme lesbian flag on April 2, 2021. The color chosen for the flag was hot pink and the design was made to match the well-known orange butch lesbian flag. <ref>[https://twitter.com/strwbryfemme/status/1377939059578900482 Tweet "I made a pink femme flag" by strwbryfemme.]</ref>


    The femme symbol was designed on October 4, 2014 by a group of non-binary Brazilians<ref>[https://www.deviantart.com/cari-rez-lobo/art/Gender-Symbols-486052086 DeviantArt post "Gender Symbols" by Cari-Rez-Lobo.]</ref>. It is based on the female symbol but with longer prongs.
    The femme symbol was designed on October 4, 2014 by a group of non-binary Brazilians<ref>[{{Archive|Site=web|URL=https://www.deviantart.com/cari-rez-lobo/art/Gender-Symbols-486052086 DeviantArt post "Gender Symbols" by Cari-Rez-Lobo.}}]</ref>. It is based on the female symbol but with longer prongs.


    ==Resources==
    <br />
    [[Category:Terminology]]
    [[Category:Identity]]
    [[Category:Presentation]]
    [[Category:Presentation]]



    Latest revision as of 16:51, 22 January 2023

    The femme flag.
    The femme flag for any LGBT individual.
    The "sea femme" flag
    Femme flag by disasterbisexual on tumblr
    Another alternate femme lesbian flag (March 28, 2021)
    femme lesbian flag by exclusionist twitter user strwbryfemme. it has seven stripes of varying shades of pink, with the white stripe in the middle.
    The femme lesbian flag by exclusionist twitter user strwbryfemme
    An alternate femme lesbian flag.
    Another alternate femme flag by Reddit user u/ShippyGoodness
    The Black Femme Community flag by the-gender-thieves on Tumblr
    The lipstick lesbian flag.
    The femme symbol.
    The femme man symbol.
    Alternative femme symbol by the-gender-thieves on Tumblr

    Femme is a term used in LGBT+ subculture to describe someone, typically a lesbian or otherwise sapphic woman, who has a feminine gender presentation. The term can refer to any femininity, but often refers to overblown and/or outwardly atypical femininity.

    Femmes will often dress in feminine clothing, and typically present themselves in a more stereotypically feminine way, such as having long hair and wearing makeup. Femmes are also commonly thought of as having more "feminine" interests. However, femmes often subvert cultural expectations of femininity or show femininity in a uniquely lesbian way, as opposed to cishet women. Some transmasculine femmes may not take certain steps associated with transmasculine transition, such as going on testosterone. Femmes can be cisgender, transgender, or any other gender modality. Femme can also be used by non-binary individuals.

    Traditionally, femmes have been expected to be attracted to butches. For some femmes, this attraction to butches represents a strong part of their own identity. However, some femmes are attracted to other femmes. This is sometimes referred to as "fem-for-fem" or "femme-for-femme."

    While the femme label is often used by/associated with lesbians, it is also used by other groups in the LGBT+ community. This includes m-spec sapphics and LGBT+ men. Femme men often use the spelling "fem," which is simply the older version of "femme". "Fem" was also used by LGBT+ women before "femme" became common. Femme men are associated with highly exaggerated feminine style and manner, which is often a reclamation of the derogatory association of LGBT men with femininity.

    Other Terms

    Some other terms that are typically synonymous with femme include "lipstick lesbian" and "designer dyke."

    High Femme

    Someone who is highly feminine, typically putting in a lot of effort into their appearance. They may also choose to only date butches.

    High femme is also sometimes defined as a femme who likes receive sexual contact but doesn't want to reciprocate, the opposite of stone. Sometimes this can carry a negative connotation, but they often form a sexual dynamic with a stone butch. (They may also identify as asexual and/or iamvanosexual.)

    Stone Femme

    Stone femme may refer to a femme who is stone, meaning they do not like their genitals sexually touched by their partners. (They may also identify as asexual and/or placiosexual.) It may also refer to the femme partner of a stone butch.

    Blue Jeans Femme

    Someone who is femme but prefers more casual clothes.

    Flag and Symbols

    The femme flag was designed by Tumblr user noodle on or before Feb 9th, 2018.[1] Purple was chosen based on one of the colors from the orange/pink lesbian flag.

    The purple/pink femme lesbian flag was designed by an unknown individual on or before September 30, 2019.

    An alternate femme lesbian flag was designed by Reddit user u/ShippyGoodness on August 9, 2020.[2]

    Another alternate femme lesbian flag was designed by an anonymous wiki user on March 28, 2021.

    Another femme flag was made by tumblr user disastergay (formerly disasterbisexual) on October 3, 2019.[3]

    The inclusive femme flag was designed by Tumblr user nbgender on January 14, 2021.[4] The dark blue stripe represents the variety of femme experience between individuals. the blue stripe represents the connection/community with femmes, femme 4 femme. The small light-blue stripe represents gender nonconformity, and the LGBTQ+ relationship to femininity. The large yellowish-white stripe represents rich history of femme identity & butch/femme culture, and the working class history & solidarity. The small lilac stripe represents sexuality and romance, including stone & high femmes. The purple stripe represents the connection/community with butches, femme 4 butch. The dark purple stripe represents the inclusion and love of femmes of other marginalized identities.[5]

    Another all-inclusive "sea femme" lesbian flag was created by tumblr user kenochoric on December 22, 2020.[6] Purple represents LGBTQ+ history. The History of the wider community and their contributions, impact, and legacy. Blue represents femme history and culture, personal history of femmes, along with femme culture. Mint/green represents support for butches, other femmes, and the wider community. Yellow represents inclusivity and tolerance. Being femme is not something you need to prove to others, and is not something you need to reach some milestone to be. Orange-brown/tan represents autonomy and independence. Being femme is not just about being with butches. Being femme is it’s own subculture that can stand on it’s own, and is just as valuable as any other. Brown represents the inclusion of all femmes, including disabled femmes, femmes of color, fat femmes, GNC femmes, and every other femme. The femme community and the wider community is no place for bigotry towards marginalized members. ALL femmes are good femmes.

    Exclusionist twitter user strwbryfemme created another femme lesbian flag on April 2, 2021. The color chosen for the flag was hot pink and the design was made to match the well-known orange butch lesbian flag. [7] @strwbryfemme's flags should be used with caution as fawn has a history of exclusionism against m-spec lesbians. [8][9]

    The Black Femme Community flag was made by the-gender-thieves on Tumblr on April 12th, 2022.[10]. The colors were inspired by the dyke flag and most common femme flag. The color meanings are as follows: Black - black history and black sapphic history, Purple - lesbian and sapphic history, love of women and non-men, sapphic power, Lavender - femininity, Light pink - femmeness, gender expression and/or gender non-conformity, unity, Pink - inclusivity of all sapphics, including trans, non-binary, mspec, aroacespec, and other sapphics, Magenta - breaking sapphic stereotpes. The symbol on the flag is the coiner's femme symbol, its represents femininity, strength, rebellion, and liberation

    The femme symbol was designed on October 4, 2014 by a group of non-binary Brazilians[11]. It is based on the female symbol but with longer prongs.

    Resources

    1. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://wuvsbian.tumblr.com/post/170699656877/an-idea-for-a-femme-flag-i-saw-some-discussions Femme flag by Tumblr user noodle. ]
    2. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://www.reddit.com/r/QueerVexillology/comments/i6uxor/i_got_bored_and_did_it_again_a_femme_flag_design/ Reddit post "I got bored and did it again" by u/ShippyGoodness. ]
    3. https://web.archive.org/web/https://disasterbisexual.tumblr.com/post/188111232450
    4. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://nbgender.tumblr.com/post/640344191559401472/new-butch-and-femme-flags-versions-with Tumblr post "New butch and femme flags" by nbgender. ]
    5. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://nbgender.tumblr.com/post/657731876565450752/these-are-my-finalized-butch-femme-stripe Stripe meanings for the inclusive femme flag. ]
    6. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://kenochoric.tumblr.com/post/638266393332219904/sky-butch-sea-femme-all-inclusive-butch-and Tumblr post with the sea femme flag. ]
    7. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://twitter.com/strwbryfemme/status/1377939059578900482 Tweet "I made a pink femme flag" by strwbryfemme. ]
    8. An exclusionist flag maker - stwbryfemme's carrd
    9. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://lgbta.wikia.org/wiki/Bi-Lesbian?diff=prev&oldid=68913 strwbryfemme vandalizing the bi-lesbian page ]
    10. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://thegenderthieves.tumblr.com/post/682521753670631424/blackfemme ]
    11. [https://web.archive.org/web/https://www.deviantart.com/cari-rez-lobo/art/Gender-Symbols-486052086 DeviantArt post "Gender Symbols" by Cari-Rez-Lobo. ]
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