Cupioromantic, previously known as kalosromantic, is a microlabel on the aromantic spectrum. Cupioromantic is defined as someone who does not experience romantic attraction but still desires a romantic relationship. Cupioromantic individuals are typically romance favorable but they do not have to be. Cupioromantic may also be used by those who sometimes feel romantic attraction but still desire a romantic relationship even without attraction; for example, a demiromantic individual who dates someone before they feel attraction to them, possibly on the assumption that they will develop romantic attraction later on. Another example could be someone who is frayromantic who dates someone after they lose their romantic attraction.
The sexual equivalent of cupioromantic is cupiosexual. The opposite is orchidromantic.
History
Cupioromantic originally used the prefix 'kalos-', which was coined by Tumblr user acelyssie on May 6th, 2014.[1] However, the name was changed to cupio- a month later due to Pokémon jokes and misunderstandings of what the prefix kalos- meant.[2][3]
Since its creation, the label cupioromantic has been a subject of controversy due to claims it is arophobic. Perhaps the most well-known argument for this is a Wordpress article published by thethinkingasexual (TTA) in January 2015, in which they declare cupioromantic is problematic due to "coming from a place of amatonormativity and romantic supremacy."[4]
The article received fierce criticism from both cupioromantics and non-cupioromantics alike. Many cupioromantics asserted they have the right to label the effects amatonormativity has on them and be proud of their identity and that gatekeeping is harmful to the wider community.[5][6] Non-cupioromantics added to the discourse by dismantling TTA's idea that the only difference between a romantic and nonromantic relationship is the presence of romantic attraction.[7]
The term cupio- continued be controversial throughout much of 2014 and 2015, with a mod of well-known Tumblr blog asexualadvice advocating against both cupioromantic and cupiosexual use due to concerns that they turn behavior into a sexuality.[8] This received a mix response from their followers and the wider aspec community, with some calling them "close-minded" and others agreeing that the labels are "unnecessary" or "aphobic". Regarding asexualadvice's stance, one user pointed out:
"cupio wasn't created to be a orientation on its own, its really just a term to further describe an individual's aromanticism. I honestly don't see it harming anyone and I think the existence of this word has helped many aro ppl figure out that they actually are aro despite the confusing thoughts of a desire for a romantic relationship!"[9]
In response to the controversy, many cupioromantics published personal anecdotes explaining why being cupioromantic makes their relationship with aromanticism complicated and unique, and thus needs to be acknowledged.[10] It appears the controversy died down sometime in 2016, with acceptance and positivity growing in the #cupioromantic tag on Tumblr.[11]
Ironically, TTA's article and the ensuing controversy has been credited with popularizing the term.[12]
Flag
It is unknown who created the cupio- flag or when, but it has existed since at least April 21st, 2015.[13] The color meaning is unknown.
The cupioromantic flag was proposed by an anonymous Fandom user in October 2020. This was done to help distinguish between the cupiosexual flag and the cupioromantic flag, as the flags were the same beforehand. The flag was turned upside down, since the aromantic flag is upside down compared to the asexual flag. Another stripe was also added to match the aromantic flag, which, in the same way, has one stripe more than the asexual flag. The pink was changed to peach as a way to show that the desired relationship type is romantic, rather than sexual.
The third alternate cupioromantic flag was proposed by Fandom user idratherhavecake on January 20, 2021. The first three stripes have the same meanings as the cupiosexual flag, and the final pink stripe was switched out for green to represent being aromantic.
The alternate flag by Fandom user Mothfree were designed in September 2021. The darker pink represents love, the lighter pink represents lack of attraction, the white represents relationships, the lighter green represents romanticism, and the darker green represents romance.
The cupioromantic symbol was created on October 28, 2021, for an LGBT+ symbols poster. It consists of a heart and a slash through it to represent a lack of romantic attraction but a heart at the tip to represent a desire or taste for romantic relationships. Along with the cupiosexual symbol, it was created by Fandom user WiiFyneLM.
Etymology
The prefix cupio- comes from the Latin word cupio, meaning "to desire" or "to long for".
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20140621223414/https://acelyssie.tumblr.com/post/87949214370/kalossexual-desiring-a-sexual-relationship-but
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626161604/https://www.tumblr.com/aromanticaardvark/89070583499/dearnonacepeople-acelyssie-kalossexual
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230625022139/https://www.tumblr.com/shades-of-grayro/90301720735/kalos-was-changed-bc-of-the-pokemon-jokes-and?source=share
- ↑ https://thethinkingasexual.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/amatanormativity-romance-and-partnership-my-problem-with-cupioromanticism/
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626180543/https://www.tumblr.com/princeofraspberries/111713854551/hello-everyone-a-while-back-i-wrote-a-piece-on
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626185808/https://www.tumblr.com/writer-ace/112930871008/cupioromanticism-and-gatekeeping
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626192738/https://www.tumblr.com/godlessace/101356031668/the-thinking-asexuals-problem-with
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626175643/https://asexualadvice.tumblr.com/tagged/the%20great%20cupio%20debate
- ↑ https://www.tumblr.com/asexualadvice/104410061914/about-this-discussion-on-cupioromantic-being-a
- ↑ https://www.tumblr.com/questioninglilac/99480543740/cupioromatic
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626190737/https://www.tumblr.com/questioninglilac/143008457200/oh-my-god
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626191346/https://www.tumblr.com/godlessace/119424257918/statement-of-motives
- ↑ https://web.archive.org/web/20230626193830/https://www.tumblr.com/gender-sexuality-happiness-rage/117008331372/so-there-needs-to-be-a-better-explanation-of?source=share