A passionate friendship (PF), or affectionate friendship, is a nonsexual, nonromantic, emotionally and physically intimate relationship between friends. This friendship serves as a primary relationship, so if the people involved create a hierarchy of relationships in their lives, the passionate friendship is either their most important relationship or one of their most important relationships, entirely equal to the other most important. It can also be a relationship where it is unclear whether the feelings are “romantic” or “nonromantic” for one or more of the people involved.[1]
A passionate friendship may include:
- A sudden, unexplainable affinity developing between two people that grows stronger over time.
- A relationship that feels naturally occurring from both sides rather than constructed and/or maintained in a one-sided manner.
- Profound love, caring, trust, and loyalty for one another.
- Emotional, mental, and physical vulnerability and intimacy.
- Intense passion, matching or surpassing that typically associated with a romantic relationship.
- Physical touch (hugging, kissing, holding hands, lap laying).
- Written and verbal affection ("I love you", "You're the most important person in my life", using pet names).
- Setting aside time and energy for each other's needs.
- Desiring a lifelong friendship with each other.
- Dating/considering each other partners/calling each other boyfriend, girlfriend or something similar.
- Marriage.
- Living together.
- Sharing a bed.
- Raising children or pets together.
PFs are more common with relationship anarchists, ace-specs, and aro-specs, though anyone is able to have this type of relationship. Those involved in a PF may be called a passionate friend, passfriend/pashfriend, a PF, or any other terms associated with friendship or partnership that they have agreed upon.
The crush alternative for a passionate friendship is called a pash and the name was created by reddit user u/SirensHeart
Vs. Romantic Friendship
Romantic friendship refers to intimate friendships between people that ended when one or both friends were married. If the romantic friendship did continue after a marriage, it was considered inferior to the married relationship. RFs were common in America and Europe during the 18th and early 19th centuries, however no separate term for them existed until the late 20th century, in review of these relationships of the past. RFs were almost exclusive to same-sex relationships, as intimate cross-sex relationships outside of family or marriage were considered inappropriate.
PFs can exist between members of any gender and can develop during any stage of life. It is never considered inferior to a romantic and/or sexual relationship, nor will it be substituted for one.[2]
Vs. Queerplatonic Partnership
Queerplatonic partnership is an umbrella term for any relationship that blurs the lines between romantic and non-romantic relationships. As such, a passionate friendship could be considered a type of QPR. PFs are specified as nonsexual, often involving emotional and sensual intimacy and passion on par with or above that of a typical romantic relationship, and are always a primary relationship (either above or on par with the most prioritized relationships) of those involved. A QPR, on the other hand, can be sexual, and can sometimes be one-sided or having each partner feel a different attraction to the other, and are not always the primary relationship of those involved.[2]
Flag
The passionate friendship flag was designed by Cilantrouble on August 19, 2020. Its colors are meant to resemble the color scheme of the passionfruit and passionflower. The alternate versions contain a passionflower design and passionfruit design in the center.