Greygender (also spelled graygender) is a gender in which one identifies partially outside the gender binary and has a strong ambivalence about one's gender identity and/or gender expression. One feels that one has a gender/genders, as well as a natural inclination or desire to express said gender(s), but it’s weak and/or somewhat indeterminate/indefinable, or one doesn't feel it most of the time, or one is just not that invested in it. One is not entirely without a gender, or without a gender expression, but one does not feel that one is entirely "with" it either.
The term greygender can be used to express any of the following:
- One's gender feels close to, but isn't quite, agender, or one's feeling of gender is weak.
- One has a non-binary gender that "falls in a hazy grey area" and can be hard to define or pinpoint, or one's feeling of gender is indeterminate, indefinable and/or generally undefined.
- One is gender-neutral more due to ambivalence and lack of participation in gender rather than active participation in neutral or androgynous, etc, gender expression.
- One feels gender and an inclination to participate in gendered thinking/expression less than most seem to, one doesn't experience the feeling of gender most of the time, and/or one is not invested in one's gender or in the concept of gender (this may include being pomogender/unlabeled).
The term was coined by Tumblr user Invernom on March 20, 2014, to express a "passive/weak/vague/rare experience of gender."
The greygender flag was created on or before August 23, 2015, in a post that is now deleted.
Grey represents the spectrum of experiences this identity covers, since different greygender individuals might feel gender to a lesser or greater degree. Blue represents greygender as an identity and experience. The creator thought of it in terms of deep ocean water—it’s calm but has a subtle fluidity and variation, and because it’s darker deep below the surface, it’s harder to determine what’s going on in it; however, it’s still beautiful and full of interesting and mysterious things. And white represents the purity and validity of those who are greygender and their experiences.