User blog:ThatOneKnows/Identity Explanation

Hello!

This blog will be more for personal use for me to keep track of my identity since I can even get lost sometimes. This will be edited as I find more about myself. You can reference this back if you ever forget about my confusing self.

They/Them
Nothing else to say rather than it's just the general one I want people to use and fits with my gender identity.

Thon/Thon
I just love how thon is a contraction of "that one," and that's my name. I want people to use it more to see how I feel about it.

He/Him
It's the that fits with my AGAB. Sometimes, I get dysphoria when people use this, but generally, I don't care when people use this.

Agender
Let me explain my gender experience more metaphorically.

Gender, to me, is like paint. Everyone's gender identity gets painted onto them on their soul. That's why some people don't fit their AGAB, their body doesn't represent their inner self. For me, I just didn't get a layer of paint, and that's fine. That does cause some problems with relating with people that got painted different colors, but that's fine. I'm me, and that's the important part.

Asexual
I don't feel sexual attraction, plain and simple.

Aegosexual
I'm not getting into specifics because of obvious reasons, but I do experience common aegosexual experiences. I do question sometimes since some of my fantasies can go a bit out of the definition of aegosexual, but I need to beat in my head that labels can be fluid and that I'm valid.

Iamvanosexual
Read the definition if you're curious since I'm not getting into it at all, but I do identify as this. I don't use this term as often as the others, but I feel like it should be noted as one of the many identities I have.

Aromantic
I don't generally feel romantic attraction, but as you read further down, you can tell that this gets complicated.

Demiromantic
From my experiences, I never experienced romantic attraction to complete strangers or acquaintances. It was only ever friends or people who I was close with.

Arospike
Continuing from the last bit, those romantic attractions would only last from a short period of time. I called these "mini-crushes" where I fantasize about being with them in a relationship or with the rest of my life. Though, I do sometimes question these two labels, so I just have to see if they'll hold up through the rest of my life.

Cupioromantic
Ah yes, the one that pains me.

I fantasize about romance every day, but it hurts that:


 * 1) I have no close friends at the moment (reasoning coming up soon).
 * 2) I have no-one to meet up with IRL.
 * 3) I don't feel romantic attraction with the exception of my friends sometimes.

But, yeah, it do be like that sometimes.

Aplatonic
This one I found out recently.

The reason why is that I don't exactly the same feelings one usually do about friends. I always see my discord friends say "I love you" and "Love you too!" and would get somewhat jealous (hilariously) and confused. Sure, I absolutely care about my friends and would ride with them to the very end. But, as the person who first introduced the term, "Love is a powerful word, and one I cannot apply to them." So, that's how I found out that part of my identity.

It's funny how I joked that agender, asexual, aromantic, and aplatonic people as "gods," but then I realized that I am all of those things.

Frayplatonic
This is a term I like to use that basically describes people who feel platonic attraction towards people who they are not deeply connected with, but then lose platonic attraction once they get to know the person.

I know, sounds painful, right?

Nah, not really. I do find myself online being like "I want to be friends with this person" to people I look up to. While all of the people that I did feel platonic attraction to ended up not being my friends, I did lose platonic attraction to them. That's how I assumed this label.

Now you may be asking: How are you still friends with people?

The answer, simply, is that relationships are complicated. I spend time and enjoy spending time with my friends since they're such creative and entertaining people to be around. That love isn't necessarily the type you would describe platonic attraction as. I can't explain it in words, but it's like the sense of community and belonging.

Aplspike
Going with the last term, I experience platonic attraction just for a short period of time. I find it most common with the people I don't know that well.

Other

 * AMAB
 * Asexual Spectrum
 * Aromantic Spectrum
 * SAM (Split Attraction Model)