User:MutedGold

I'm really new to wikia pages in general so apologies if I make a ton of mistakes while trying to learn the ropes. Wanted to join to try to learn how to help and to have a space where I can place my terminology and what I'm trying out.

I have no idea a good way to organize these terms so this will probably be changed a lot. Any suggestions are well wanted. Bear, Polyamorus, Queer, Questioning, Genderpunk, Autigender

Aromantic, Asexual, Oriented AroAce, Omni, Caedsexual, Sensual and Presential Attraction

Gendervoid, Neagender, Plutoian, Alterian, Abinary

Genderfluid, Genderflor, Exofluid, Alexi-Xenoflux, Cancegender

Xenogender, DiurnalVapogender, Heagender [attach to ?], Circgender, Exaltgender, Estrialgender, Uranugender, Astergender, Blåstjernen, Gurogender, Purplegender

Pronouns

Primary: it/its, vo/vois/voiself

Secondary: he/him

Testing out: fae/faer/faeself, dae/daem/daeself, ne/nis/nimself, nov/novs/novself, voi/vois/voiself

 Do Not:  they/them, she/her

I know my identity is very paradoxical from the outside, it makes me anxious talking about it because of it. As I've realized it's simply I'm void of gender, and don't connect to it but sometimes parts of that void has a different feeling to it. It's still void just like a pure white piece of paper and a pure black one are both voids they both feel and look different. They still are blank but different types of blank.Anything could go on them but there isn't anything. That void sometimes shifts how it feels, and using gender terms work to help explain those shifts in feel but I never feel like I have gender or connect to it; I just want to explain and acknowledge those shifts in how the void changes because that is part of me and it influences how I act and it feels important. Just like I experience no attraction of sexual or romantic doesn't mean I don't date, I don't experience gender doesn't mean I can't have weird times of 'eh this is close enough to a gender if I gotta pretend to have one this one is the one that feels the least wrong.'

This probably makes little to no sense, but that's what questioning and exploring is. It at least feels the most right to me and makes me feel a bit more whole.

My experiences with the feeling of that void are mostly based in synesthesia, while some are based in neurodivergences of another sort.